Welcome to My Blog

Hi there. So here's the deal, I'm making this blog to both help myself, and others who suffer from anxiety disorders. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who feels they are alone in having these issues, and I'm hoping this will prove to myself and others, we are not. So let me give you a bit of background. I'm twenty two years old, female, and live in NC. I have ( and have since i was 7 ) general anxiety, which for me means I'm constantly afraid of everything which i believe will lead to my death, hypochondria, which makes me constantly feel that every tiny symptom or odd feeling associated with my body will ultimately lead to an illness which will kill me, and social anxiety, which makes it impossible for me to talk to, in front of, or around peers. I'll delve into all of them at some point but I'd like this blog to be a daily account of both my past and current experiences and i need to leave you guys coming back wanting more :). For today i think I'll tell you about my Hypochondria issues since I'd like to have a running account of my daily "illnesses", and also because it is very misunderstood. Yes, some of them will be funny, go ahead and laugh, i don't mind ;.).

So, here is my deal with Hypochondria : i think it gets a bad rap. I remember sitting in high school health class ( who didn't love THAT bunch of BS? ) and we were discussing mental illnesses. My health teacher ( a very odd man BTW ) got to hypochondria and i thought "great, maybe these other people will learn something!" But no, Mr. Health Moron decided to educate (pfft) us by telling us about his "friend" with "hypochondria" . This is literally the story : He was sitting watching tv one night with a female friend of his ( who he claimed had hypochondria ) and a commercial for testicular cancer ( btw who has a comerical for that? ) and his friend goes "OH! I'VE GOT TESTICULAR CANCER". Because she saw an ad for it.... seriously WTF. First off, doesn't work like that. Say i was watching a commercial talking about disease x, and they said the symptoms were headache, rash, and black plague-esque boils. Well, the second i got a headache i would think "oh jeez, what if i have disease x?!" It would freak me out completely even though i never got boils. I would think this one symptom that is indicative of NOTHING would lead to this disease which would kill me. And i would work myself up, search for a rash, boils, making sure.

Now beyond that, i have certain diseases i ALWAYS think i have. Brain tumor, appendicitis ( excuse the spelling on that ) and aneurysm. Brain tumor and the aneurysms both stem from any headache i get that is either one of those long lasting ones, or in a certain spot. And i very much think i am going to die from it. Imagine you go to the doctor and he finds a bump and says to you. "It looks like nothing, but it may be cancer." That's how every hypochondrial fear feels to me. That i may die from it. It's a shitty way to live let me tell you, and it happens at the very least ( and on a good day ) twice a day. Imagine feeling as if YOU WILL DIE, two times a day. Think about that next time you think someone with hypochondria is just a baby.